To Hell and Back- Part 4- Results!

Sometimes the worst things you go through in life change you the most. We don't always see those results, but I definitely have seen some of mine. First a disclaimer: I have in no way arrived in any of these areas; I am just speaking in generalities. So when I write something here, of course know that I still have a ways to go in these areas. (I don't have to tell you this if you know me well. haha!)

• A Love for Christ. This may sound weird, but perhaps some can relate. Jesus (the man) always kind of freaked me out, and I'm not sure why. Taking communion was always a little weird to me. Looking at pictures of Jesus reeeaally freaked me out, as did watching movies where He was displayed. For some reason, and I can't explain it, when I think of Him now, I just feel His love for me, and I fall in love with Him all over again. Hearing songs about how we've been saved and set free from sin almost always bring tears to my eyes out of the sheer beauty of it all. I had sensed that beauty before, but now it's more amazing to me.
• Developed a disgust for effort and duty. This is something that is so ingrained in modern Christianity, and yet it is so close to heresy. The way to holiness is not through your effort or will, it is through surrender and faith. Galatians 3:3, “Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?” Human effort originates in pride and ends in lifting you up. Surrender and faith originates in the Holy Spirit and ends up lifting God up. American culture has really taken hold of this "we can do it religion", and it's working against us, because guess what? You will fail- every time, eventually, in every way. And when you fail, you will run from God because you think you're not worthy of Him, will double your efforts at service and obedience, and it will become a vicious cycle. This experience just really showed me that when I focus on getting close to Jesus and taking in all the love He has for me, holiness can't help but flow out. The Bible says that Jesus is a fountain of living water. Many Christians are filling up their little buckets with water and straining them to carry them to Jesus and pour them in, thinking surely He'll be impressed, that we will somehow earn a place in His heart. How silly. We should be bringing our empty, dry buckets to the well, dipping them in the fountain of Him to fill them up, and then going and serving with that living water. That is the heart of the God we serve. He loves for us to fill ourselves with Him, because the Giver gets the glory. (illustration thanks to John Piper.)
• Love: I have always always struggled with this, and I think mostly because it is the litmus test in the Bible for if you're truly saved or not. (1 Jn 3:14).  I was always good at being "nice", but love is a different story. This is really where things came to head for me, because honestly I was saying to God, "I know I am supposed to love, to feel love for others (and yes, I do believe love has an essence of feeling to it. It is not just action as some teach. More on this in another post perhaps.), but I don't. So You have to do it. Either You come with Your Spirit and Your power and love through me, proving You live in me, or You don't, and I'm done for." It's that hard place where God commands something from you that you cannot do, and you have to come to a place where you 100% depend on Him to carry out that command through you. The good news is, He does! He LOVES when we get to that place, because He LOVES to show up and do it, and it's all Him, and He saved the day. He would honestly have it no other way! I do see love in myself now, and it's really surprising to me. Almost every time it happens, I am honestly shocked. I see homeless people on the side of the road, and my heart breaks for them. When I think of most of the people I see everyday headed straight for Hell, it makes me ache & cry for them. I understand "sinners" now and am MUCH less judgmental. I see people as all the same. I never used to be this way, so I know it's all Him and none of me! What an amazing thing to experience.
• Passion for people who think they are saved and are not. Ug. I could write forever on this one, but I will just say that I think our evangelism efforts are often misleading at best. Yes, the gospel is simple, but getting to point where you're ready to accept it is a big thing. I think it is a shame to assure people of their salvation, because honestly, that is not our place. Only God can do that. Let me ask you this. Would you rather your child struggle their whole over the issue of whether or not they were saved and end up in Heaven or have them hardly think twice about it because they "said a prayer" once and end up Hell? Be very careful with assuring others. Make sure you know everything that's going on. I think the visible church is full of people headed for Hell because of false assurance. If you're not sure yourself, study 1 John. But rest assured of His promise also in Jeremiah 29:13!
• Resources if you're struggling with any of this.... (coming soon, I promise!) :)